Part 2 of a 2-part series on talking with your partner about sexual intimacy during menopause, brought to you by the makers of the innovative Fiera® Arouser for Her™
It's strange to think, since they're often the person who knows you better than anyone, but talking to your intimate partner about...well...intimacy...can be one of the hardest things you'll every have to do. But when you're dealing with the effects of aging and menopause on your body and your mind, these conversations are essential to your physical and emotional well-being, not to mention the health of your relationship.
Here are 5 effective ways we've found to get that conversation started:
1. Write it down: Even when you've resolved to have the discussion, it can be hard just to get the words out. Putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) can help get your over that hurdle. Start by writing down everything on your mind, even if you don't actually plan to talk about them. Seeing your words in front of you might just help you get a handle on how you're going to say it. If you still don't feel ready to say it out loud, there's nothing wrong with a good, old-fashioned handwritten letter - or for the more technologically inclined, an email. Just make sure you don't send it to your partner's work account!
2. Schedule it: We all know how busy life can be, and when there's an uncomfortable conversation looming, somehow other things always seem to get in the way. Make this conversation, and reclaiming your sexuality, a priority. If you set aside time and make a "date" with your partner, you'll find it much easier to follow through.
3. Start by yourself: It's a real catch-22 - one of the reasons we find it hard to prioritize talking about problems like decreased libido is exactly that - decreased libido. If you are finding it hard to get aroused or finding sex uncomfortable, there's no incentive to talk about those issues. Set aside "alone time" to explore your body and get yourself in the mood - try out products like lubricants or vaginal creams or the Fiera® Arouser for Her™ - and figure out what works best for you before you talk to your partner.
4. Mail-order conversation starter: Did you know that your brain is your biggest sexual organ? Never underestimate the power of suggestion or the element of surprise! Do some exploring online and order up a treat like massage oils or some grown-up toy that piques your interest. From the time you click "Buy" until the package actually arrives, you'll have a little hit of anticipation acting on the pleasure centers in your brain each time you remember your order. And once the mail carrier drops it off, will your partner ever be in for a surprise!
5. Bring in a professional: (Not that kind of professional!) Don't be afraid to seek outside help. Talking to a doctor or a therapist can be a great help. There are products available that could help with some of the physical and emotional symptoms of menopause, such as estrogen therapy, antidepressants, and other medications. Seeking help from a therapist can help you to sort through your feelings around aging and intimacy. And finally, seeing a counselor together could help you and your partner open up about issues including intimacy, and ultimately help to deepen your connection.
It may seem like it will take everything you have to start a conversation with your partner about the changes you're body is going through, but in the end it's worth it. Maintaining a fun and fulfilling sex life as you age can be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do - you and your partner will both be glad you made the effort!
Click here to read Part 1 of this series to learn about the reasons why this conversation can be so hard. The Fiera® Arouser for Her™ is currently available only in the United States. Enter coupon code "1AMTM16" to receive $50 off Fiera plus free shipping.
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