Part 1 of a 2-part series on talking with your partner about sexual intimacy during menopause, brought to you by the makers of the innovative Fiera® Arouser for Her™
Problems with sexual intimacy are so common during and after menopause that it's a wonder we aren't talking about it All. The. Time. More than 50 percent of menopausal women will experience decrease or loss of libido, either on its own or complicated by issues like vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse, depression, mood changes, and struggles with weight and body image. Unfortunately, this issue is complicated by the fact that we often find it difficult to talk about such an intimate topic as...well...intimacy, even with our partners.
There are lots of factors behind why we find it hard to talk about sex - especially the difficulties we might be having - with our partners. Five of the main reasons are:
1. Taboo: For so many of us "women of a certain age," female sexual desire was the LAST thing we were raised to talk about. Although it's becoming much more acceptable among younger women to talk about sex and their own wants and needs - whether with their intimate partners or just out with their girlfriends - for many middle aged and older women it is still simply not done. Breaking these taboos is not an easy thing to do, but the more we are able to get past them and talk openly with our partners, the better.
2. Habit: It is incredibly difficult to change habitual behaviours or to get out of a rut once you're there. Whether you're "going through the motions" every so often, even though it's not doing anything for you, or you've fallen into the "roommate syndrome" trap and you're both resolved to a lack of intimacy, sometimes it seems easier just to let that part of your relationship fall to the wayside and concentrate on other things.
3. Embarrassment: This one is HUGE. You might be feeling embarrassed for yourself - anxious about changes to your body or symptoms such as night sweats; uncomfortable talking about intimate issues; or ashamed of your inability to get aroused or enjoy sex. On the other hand, you might be concerned about embarrassing your partner - bringing attention to their own issues such as erectile dysfunction, or making them feel they aren't able to "turn you on" like they used to.
4. Time: Dr Sherry writes that midlife can be one of the busiest and most stressful stages of a woman's life. Many of us are part of a "sandwich generation" caring for both teenage children and aging parents, often while still employed full or part-time. When you add to that symptoms like fatigue and sleeplessness, it can be very difficult to find and prioritize the time to have a thoughtful discussion about a difficult topic.
5. Desire: If it ain't broke... If the issue is a lack of desire for sex, it can be hard to see any reason to bother having the conversation. I mean, if you don't want it anyway, why talk about how to make it happen? But if sexual intimacy was once important and rewarding for you, it is a discussion worth having. Talking about the issues themselves, as well as exploring options like the Fiera® Arouser for Her™, can help to rekindle your desire simply by firing up the feelings of anticipation. Remember, your brain is your biggest sexual organ!
Click here to read Part 2 of this series for tips on how to spark that conversation. The Fiera® Arouser for Her™ is currently available only in the United States. Enter coupon code "1AMTM16" to receive $50 off Fiera plus free shipping.
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