Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I am losing my hair.

In a true example of the downsides of aging, I am losing my hair. Not on my head, though. That would be easier, as I could cover that up with a jaunty chapeau.

I am losing my eyebrows.

Is this happening to anyone else, or am I a perimenopausal freak who should run off and join the circus? Would that make me a carny? I am absolutely fascinated with carnies! They... DENISE! FOCUS!

Eyebrows. Yeah, they're falling out. What the hell, Mother Nature? What did I ever do to deserve this sort of treatment? It's not like I have blonde hair with light brows that you can hardly see anyway. I have very dark brown hair and dark brows. There's no hiding this.

And here's the kicker: They aren't even falling out evenly, like a nice eyebrow might do. (Is there such a thing as a nice eyebrow?) At least then I could possibly figure out some eyebrow pencil quick fix until I have a chance to investigate eyebrow transplants, if such a thing exists. (PS I would never do that. I believe in keeping what God gave me, no matter what. Plus, let's face it: I'm a total chicken). But I can't even do that because my eyebrows are truly cruel. Hairs at the ends are falling out, but the ones closer to the bridge of my nose seem to be going rogue and growing at warp speed, thickening as they go, so parts of my face now look like Fish from "Barney Miller."

Not a great look for an almost 50 28 year-old woman.

Still, that isn't the worst of it. While my eyebrows are falling out, my mustache is filling in quite nicely. That's right. I now have a $@*&ing mustache that demands waxing every three weeks. I call it my Crazy Greek Lady mustache. No disrespect to my beautiful Hellenic friends, but we all know an older Greek lady in a black dress who is a little wacky. I look like her now. So combine Wooly Willy, Abe Vigoda, and Crazy Greek Lady, and basically that is who I am becoming.

Circus life is starting to look more and more appealing.

This post originally appeared at Call The Midlife.


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